Sunday, May 31, 2009

Let Me Introduce Me's Self...

I'm Crappy, Crappy McTire.

I'se knows Crappy is a funny name, it is. Buts it's me's God given name and I'se lives and dies by it. It was me's mother's maiden name, it was. Her names weres Annabell Scarlett McCrappy. She's went and name me's Crappy cause shes didn't want to gives up da McCrappy moniker as she's was the last in a long line of McCrappys in da beloved Ol Scotland. Da Anglash had stole our birthright and kills off da whole clan. Me's Mom and her Dad'ems, Flaithbheartach Sèitheach McCrappy, were da lucky off spring that fled and hid under da covers whens da Anglash came a calln'. Me's Mom went and died whiles at childbirth with me's on da boat that tooks her and Dads across to the new country. Dad buried her in a cemetery right next to a plot of land we'd settle downs in and I'se lives in that same spot til this day and I'se aint moven' for nos mans or beasty.

Enough about me's family's history. This is a place fors me's and me's best mate Broderick to fulfill our destiny's. To meet our betrothed.

Broderick has been a friend of mine since we's weres a lil babes. My's first memories as a child are with young "Brood", (that's his nickname as he has a broodish disposition) under a tree whacking our tally whacker's together. There was times we'd skip school just to smoke our wands under that chestnut tree in da cool breeze. Ahh to be young eh?

Here's a picture of me's best pal Brood and me's self sharen' an ale after a long match of cricket.

I'se gotta say Broderick and me's self loves them ladies. The thing is we's nevers can gets to have any serious relationships? This is something we's nevers can quite figures out? We's are both fine young strapping bucks with huge woman pleasers betweens our haunches. But nights after nights we's comes homes from yonder pub all lonley like. We end up stroken' our massive wands next to each other whiles gandering at tight young lassies forcing things into themselves on da Internet. Whoo is us.

I'se remember one's night downs at da pub and two fine young bitches strolled into our lair. We's was really getn somewhere, at lest I'se was, Broderick wouldn't make conversation with his'n bitch. Mine's was rubn me's cock and balls under da table until I'se had to go pee. When I'se came back from my ashcan both of da sluts had run off. Broderick says, "they just didn't like us and were just pretendn' to want to manipulate our's weapons". In fact this tends to happen every time I'se take a wiz and the young Does are around! Do you think it's just an coincidence? Yeah I'se thinks so too!

Well if you's are a young hot lassie who would like to live da good life with me's or me's b'y Broderick please get in contact with me's on my new blog.

Ta Ta for now.
Your friend Crappy.